I haven't posted in a long time. Life is complicated. Sometimes things happen and you get busy and time slips away. Well, no more apologies, or excuses, it is what it is.
I lost my Dad on August 14 of this year. After that life has been a blur. The day before was my Wife and I's 25th wedding anniversary. I was headed to my EMT-Basic class when I got the call my Dad had fell out. My Mom was frantic. She was so upset she couldn't dial 911. She grabbed the cell phone with my programmed number in it to call me for help.
I called 911, then my wife, then my teacher and then headed to Mom & Dad's. The ambulance was already there. When I entered the house Mom was going crazy upset about Dad. I tried to calm her down, then I looked to Dad. The Paramedics and firemen were already there when I arrived and they were performing CPR on Dad. One of the Paramedics knew me from when I road clinicals on the ambulance he put me to work. He asked me to put tools in the jump bag, they asked me to help get Dad on the backboard, and clear a path out of the house. Once on the street at the ambulance he asked me to hold a tube they had drilled into Dad's leg so he could tape it down. Then he turned and asked me what I was doing there, I said " man that's my Dad ". He told me man I'm sorry I just thought you were here and stopped to help.
I told him I understood just do what you need to do. I looked over at the heart monitor it was flat lined. They took off to the hospital. Those guys worked their butts off on my Dad all the way. The rest of the day & night ambulance staff kept checking in on us in the ER as they made deliveries. It meant a lot!
Dad stayed in Trauma 1 unit of the ER until the next afternoon. We were there all night and day. A Dr. sent Dad for a neurological test and when he came back they told us Dad was already brain dead the machine was all that was keeping him alive. The Dr. said he had already called time of death. A short time later they disconnected the machine and Dad was gone. I was kneeling at his bed side holding his hand when he passed. He was wore out and he couldn't fight anymore.
I miss him more everyday.
Time since then has flown by. The hectic funeral arrangements, trying to help my Mother with all the financial, legal, and medical business after a death takes time. It's Dec. now and they still haven't got his permanent gravestone down yet.
Mom is trying to cope with living alone, but it's a big adjustment after 53 years of living with someone to be alone everyday. I'm over as much as possible and try to be available when ever Mom has an appointment but she's still lonely.
This is hunting season . The time of year I live for, but it's not the same anymore. I can't go into the woods without thinking of Dad. I've killed some deer & hogs but it's not right. I'm not enjoying myself. I've missed more deer this year than I've ever in my life and something inside doesn't really care. I always went and showed my deer to my Dad, but this year when I got my big 8 ptr there was no one I could talk to who would understand what it meant to me.
I finished my EMT-Basic classed and passed with a 88.3 average. I then went to take the National Registry Exam so I can be an EMT and failed it.I don't know what happened, there was things on the test I had never heard of. Something inside felt really hurt that I didn't do better. Something inside me didn't really care. I can retake the test, but what can I do to make the outcome different.
Deer season is almost over, Halloween, & Thanksgiving came and went , and soon Christmas will be here but it's all just another day.
Jim Cobb Coleman